Hugs are a means of communication.  According to research published in Comprehensive Psychology and the Journal of Managerial Issues, there are many circumstances under which hugging occurs that result in therapeutic effects on our emotional, physiological and biochemical well-being in the workplace. I believe in heartbeat-to-heartbeat or head-to-shoulder types of hugs where an unspoken expression of genuine care and trust is displayed and shared. This type of hug is what I mean by "The Hug."

The Hug can be a powerful tool for transformational leaders. One significant way that transformational leaders inspire change is by fostering trust and loyalty among followers through positive behavior and charisma. The Hug can be an example of positive behavior that fosters trust. Unfortunately, too many creepy hugs and other forms of physical touch in the workplace have been used to sexually harass employees. In the #MeToo era, how can transformational leaders in the workplace champion the power of The Hug?

As leaders, we are cautioned against touching our employees. I maintain, however, that making myself open to receiving and giving hugs with my coworkers has been extremely beneficial in my work as a leader. Initially, this is of course, easier to do with peer-level colleagues in the workplace; but over time, it is possible to achieve a level of trust, safety and comfort with subordinates and leaders where The Hug can be shared with them, as well. Hugging is a simple yet profound communication form that lets the other person know that they matter to someone else. The Hug quickly helps to boost confidence, decrease stress and relieve emotional turmoil. It has high value in my success as a transformative leader and engager of people in the workplace. 

Let me share an example from my professional life. A former executive leader to whom I reported was not very open to hugging when I first came on board. It was my impression that she thought it crossed a line of professionalism in the workplace. There are many who share this point of view. As the months ticked past and my relationships with many in that workplace developed, grew and solidified, the usual day-to-day greeting often included a hug. It seems as though she witnessed the success I was having in connecting with our employees and decided to actually welcome a hug from me one day when it was offered. Then another day, and yet another still until it was more of the norm for us than not. 

You see, as a mid-career leader, I’ve received the conventional workplace and educational indoctrination that dictates an extended hand for a handshake is the most suitable and customary way to greet someone. I ascribe to this virtue as it pertains to individuals with whom I am unfamiliar or only occasionally interface with on a surface level, but not with those whom I lead, guide and support on a regular, ongoing basis. In order for me to reach them at a level that truly matters, I utilize The Hug. There are many individuals who don’t receive affection on a regular basis, and so my hug may be even more meaningful. 

I maintain that touch shouldn’t be perceived as taboo in the workplace, unless of course, an individual states that they are, in fact not comfortable engaging in one. An important piece of The Hug is checking with the other person to see if they are comfortable with it. Once over the past 2 years someone shared that they’d prefer not to hug. Having seen me exchanging hugs with others upon arriving at a team event, an employee respectfully indicated to me verbally and non-verbally (by facing me with her two palms aimed in my direction at chest level) that she was not comfortable engaging in a hug. Her establishment of boundaries was made clear, I thanked her for telling me, and The Hug never came up again between us. Trust didn’t diminish and, in fact it improved. 

Another important piece of The Hug is when it is available. By that I mean The Hug doesn’t only occur when greeting or saying goodbye. Although my office door is closed throughout some portions of my day while I meet privately with employees regarding their work and professional development, I endeavor to keep my door open as much as possible so that I can be available for those who choose to stop by for a hug. Some of them cite my inviting choice of cologne, while others mention the warm, teddy bear-like approach I use in my hugs. I don’t do the side-to-side sterile hug (unless that is preferred by the other person). As I stated above, the heartbeat to heartbeat or head to shoulder connection expresses genuine care and trust that is pivotal to transformational leadership. 

You may be wondering if these hugs are solely with women, and the answer is no. While it definitely takes longer for the men on the team to warm up to the idea, most usually do and will come in for The Hug. That said, there are fewer initiators in that camp, too. Although I happen to be a gay man, I don’t believe the men on our staff fear questions arising about their sexual identity by engaging in a platonic hug with me. Too many individuals grow up withholding healthy physical touch from fear of being gross or out of shame. Some of this may be rooted in cultural difference or preference. I am thankful to come from relatives including dad, stepdad, uncles, mom, stepmom, aunts, cousins and my chosen family of dear friends who modeled for me the power of The Hug from as far back as I can remember. 

I can also attest to the power of The Hug as a receiver of it. The platonic desire and brief connection that are shared in that particular moment get me through the next leg of my day. They help to redirect a negative moment in the day the other person may not even know I had. The Hugs especially serve as a reminder that I am a people engager who gives motivation, encouragement and support to others all day, and may not even pause to realize that I, too, need an uplift until it is received and resonating through my soul.  

With the social climate that we Americans find ourselves in with daily reports of individuals coming forward to ring the alarm on unwanted touch from authority figures and the like, it provides a glimmer of positivity that people can still find genuine embrace a welcoming and appreciated gesture of affection and trust. 

To recap, The Hug as a tool for transformational leadership is:

1. Engaged in with consent

2. Adaptable to meet the other’s preferences

3. Not mandatory

4. A way to express genuine connection

5. Platonic

6. A trust builder

7. A stress reliever

Resources:

Bass, B. M. (1990). From transactional to transformational leadership: Learning to share the vision. Organizational Dynamics, 18(3), 19-31. doi:10.1016/0090-2616(90)90061-s

Forsell, L. M., & Åström, J. A. (2012). Meanings of Hugging: From Greeting Behavior to Touching Implications. Comprehensive Psychology. https://doi.org/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13

Greenwood, E. (2017). Gendered Communication Styles in the Workplace. XULAneXUS, 14(2), 1.

Harris, S., Lowery-Moore, H., & Farrow, V. (2008). Extending Transfer of Learning Theory to Transformative Learning Theory: A Model for Promoting Teacher Leadership. Theory Into Practice, 47(4), 318–326. https://doi-org.ezproxy.redlands.edu/10.1080/00405840802329318

Simmering, M., Fuller, J., Marler, L., Cox, S., & Bennett, R. (2013). Tactile Interaction Norms and Positive Workplace Touch. Journal of Managerial Issues, 25(2), 132-153. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/43488164

van Dick, R., & Haslam, S. A. (2012). Stress and well-being in the workplace: Support for key propositions from the social identity approach. In J. Jetten, C. Haslam, & S. A. Haslam (Eds.), The social cure: Identity, health and well-being (pp. 175-194). New York, NY, US: Psychology Press.