Last night, I was having dinner at a restaurant. We rarely go out to eat these days because we have a toddler who doesn't sit still for long periods of time. At the end of our meal, the lights went out.  My first thought was "Oh sh*t, there is a mass shooter."  

I looked at our toddler and wondered what I would do to protect her since she was strapped into the highchair. I imagined clumsily trying to unhook the belt to escape the situation quickly in the dark. Fortunately, the power went out due to a transformer issue. There was no mass shooter in the restaurant. We were safe.  

In the last two months, in California, we've experienced a mass shooter at a bar in Thousand Oaks, as well as 2 devastating wild fires. In Florida, there was a mass shooter at a yoga studio. In Pittsburgh, there was a mass shooter at a synagogue. I go to bars, yoga studios and places of worship. I live in an area with drought and dry land. I'm not surprised that my first thought last night was of a mass shooter.  

Trauma occurs when there is a loss of a sense of safety. That loss can be the result of direct exposure to or witnessing natural disasters, violence and other life-threatening events. Experiencing trauma does NOT mean you automatically have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). That said, you could experience trauma responses like the one I shared above, even if you were not directly exposed to a life-threatening event.  

Examples of possible trauma responses include:

• Being extra alert to potential danger

• Avoiding places you normally don't avoid

• Changes to sleep patterns and/or appetite

• Feeling on-edge in places you don't normally feel that way

• Reacting to situations with more or less intensity than you normally would

Fortunately, there are healthy ways for you to help yourself if you find yourself having trauma responses.  

• Self-compassion & understanding

• Share with a trusted family or friend

• Journal or do another form of creative expression

• Avoid alcohol & drugs

• If trauma responses persist, seek professional help

You may also focus on resilience-building. Simply stated, resilience is your ability to adapt in the face of hardship. Building resilience within yourself strengthens your ability to cope in times of trauma. The American Psychological Association offers The Road to Resilience.  

Additional resources:

 21 Common Reactions to Trauma by Seth J. Gillihan, Ph.D. in Psychology Today.

African American Therapist Directory 

Psychology Today Find A Therapist